In Glennon Doyle’s book Untamed, she talks about easy buttons and reset buttons. Easy buttons are those behaviors that numb you and allow you to avoid experiencing discomfort and painful feelings and realities. They take you away from yourself and what’s happening inside you. Examples might include binge watching TV, scrolling through social media, video games, online shopping, mindless eating, alcohol and drugs, and excessive sleeping. Easy buttons might also include things like cleaning, starting a new project, and staying busy taking care of others. Easy buttons are, by definition, easy: comfortable, readily available, they take little effort to do, and they quickly can become a habit. You probably slide into them without even fully being aware that you’re doing it. And while they serve to distract momentarily, they can leave you feeling restless, dissatisfied, disconnected, and empty.

On the other hand, we have our reset buttons. These are behaviors that can shift us into a place of acceptance and intention. Reset buttons don’t solve the problem but they allow space to be with whatever reality is and send the message that it’s okay to be there. It’s okay to be uncomfortable and not immediately know what to do. And, they usually help us feel better by getting us out of our heads and bringing us back to the present moment and ourselves. Reset buttons might include deep breathing, meditation, going for a walk, getting out in nature, yoga, taking a bath, and journaling.It’s not as simple as saying easy buttons are bad and reset buttons are good. It’s more about the why of what you’re doing rather than the what. The goal is to become more mindful of your behaviors so you can make better choices in the moment to feel your feelings and meet your needs.

Living with food allergies creates a particularly fertile environment for easy buttons. The vigilance is relentless, the social navigation is exhausting, and the emotional labor of keeping yourself or your child safe rarely gets acknowledged by the people around you. When that weight builds up, the pull toward something easy and numbing is completely understandable. The question isn't whether you'll reach for an easy button (you're human, you will), it's whether you can catch yourself doing it and ask what you actually need in that moment. Sometimes the answer is a reset button. A breath, a walk, five minutes outside. Sometimes it's naming what's hard out loud to someone who gets it. Food allergy stress has a way of accumulating quietly until it's suddenly very loud. Reset buttons are how you stay ahead of it.